- when your days roll over and over until they feel like one, big long day.
- when you need a change so bad but you don’t seem to know what that change should be.
- and all you can come up with is a new hair cut.
- or a new set of sheets.
- or a de-clutter of your room (for the 20th time this year)
- and then you realise you have no money for a haircut.
- or sheets.
- and you are an actual hoarder, you can’t de-clutter if your life depended on it.
- and then you realise spending money is what makes you happy.
- but only for that instant and, like, 5 minutes after.
- its like when you make a cup of tea and realise you didn’t actually want it.
- all you wanted was to ‘do’ something, and tea seemed good at the time.
- so you decide to spend your weekend reading your book, but realise it isn’t providing you with that ‘escapism’ habit you enjoy so much
- it just feels like your lying in bed, ‘reading a book’.
- so you decide to go to that thing you were invited to by your new workmates on saturday night
- then you start thinking about what you want to wear
- (it isn’t actually an issue because you know everything you own looks good on you)
- then you start imagining a scenario where you get unforgivably drunk and abuse one of your workmates because he is a complete and total fuckface
- then you imagine a scenario where you get unforgivably drunk and politely inform another workmate that you’re crushing on them bigtime even though they have a partner
- and then you secretly wish you had the guts to do both those things
- and there were no consequences
- and then you realise that if you do go, the people who you like will probably go home early and you’ll be the last ‘newbie’ and that would suck because you still don’t know 3/4 of the people who work there
- and then you realise you’ll be drunk so you probably wont even notice
- do people wear wedges to wests these days?
- how do you stop you’re brain from travelling one hundred miles an hour?
- how do you sleep?
- how do you say no?
- is there a certain number of days you have to wait for karma, you actively accumulated, to reveal itself in your everyday life?
- is there a way you can get it to work for you in one specific area?
- does a centrelink exist where there are no waiting lines?
#life #issues #white girl problems #thinking too much #insomnia #fuuuuuuck #fuck it #centrelink can suck it #i just posted this all on tumblr
